01 January 2023

How to set realistic & long-lived goals


I think I write something every new year, about trying NOT to set too many New year resolutions!!!

I say probably say, every year – THEY DON’T WORK!!  IF you write to me to say, sorry but they do work as I have carried on with my new year resolution & it is still going strong …. then you are in the minority & you are amazing, well done.

I honestly don’t mean to be bar humbug or negative.  I am just being honest.

I want to help you help yourself by avoiding crash diets or trying to follow the new trends which you generally can’t sustain for more than a few weeks, or a month at the most.

Unfortunately, we are surrounded by Instagram, TikTok, Facebook & magazines all offering you ‘amazing’ new ideas to take this up and give that up.

Or articles telling you if you exercise for X length of time then you will burn Y number of calories from the chocolates you have eaten!  Then keep doing this for the next few months and hey presto you will have lost Z amount of weight!

STOP!!  Close the page or the app now!!

You are 100% totally UNIQUE and your levels of hormones, stress & how your body manages its fat reserves or detoxification, is TOTALLY unique to you. So what may work well for one person won’t for you – or you will feel crap on it.

I wrote the blog on how great Intermittent Fasting was – to eat in a 10 hr window.  However, this is not good for everyone.  Some lose lots of weight on it, some lose nothing at all & those women who are in their 30’s & 40’s should avoid it if trying to get pregnant.

So, NO one single person’s body will react the same way – that goes for dieting!

What can you do to help yourself?

Ok, do this one thing.  Will you write down NOW what exactly you would like to be doing for YOUR health, this time next week – yes just in a week’s time then reassess each week or tweak it every few weeks

Write down the WHAT, then write down the HOW.

1.The WHAT (the goal)

Ok, so what exactly is the main thing you want to improve for yourself??

Is it realistic & if you focus on making time for it, is it a doable ‘WHAT’??

Try and choose just the ONE thing for now, otherwise you will overwhelm yourself if you try to change too many things at once

Think about the most important thing for you.  Will you focus on your health or your lifestyle or friends?? Maybe start with the thing that will perhaps be the easiest to change.

This will be a more positive way of starting.  If you choose something that will need a lot of time, effort and even having to change your life around too much – be realistic, will you honestly be able to do it all now?

So, choose something small to change to start or if the long term goal needs smaller goals to start with, then start with the easiest/smallest.  You will then feel more motivated and positive if you do achieve this 1st ‘WHAT’ ie goal.

2.The HOW

Now you have something to aim for we need to break it down, to see HOW you are going to be able to achieve this goal.

Decide if you need to make time for it or if it can naturally be added/taken away from something you are already doing.

What tools do you need to achieve this?  Do you need to get a physical diary/calendar? Does it need some research?

Do you need some new kit – kitchen appliances, or workout kit? Or do you need a friend/family to join you in the goal?

Now write down how you are going to start your new goal and when.

It is no good starting it on 1st January IF you haven’t got anything that you need to accomplish this goal.

Plan it out properly – when will your new kit arrive?  Look at the diary and be realistic – wait till the kids are back at school or get a certain meeting over with, then you can start to add in your ‘WHAT’!

Now – ask yourself is this a reasonable and beneficial goal you are setting yourself.


Fantastic – you have had a really good think about what one thing is the most important thing you want to change/start/give up.  You have worked out how you can do it so it will work.

  • Now, you need to be realistic and think about how long you want to be doing this new goal or the ‘what’!!
  • Again, you need to decide if this is a life changer – if so then start it REALLY slowly and a small amount, reassess each week or month and only when it is becoming everyday and no longer hard to do.
  • THEN can you think about extending it or making it bigger.

Hence, new year resolutions tend not to work as there is no end time or too many unrealistic goals have been set.

What I recommend is writing in a diary or journal.  Then reassess how it is going each month or whether it is now more a part of your life and you can look at increasing it OR starting a new focus.  Start the same process for the next thing you would like to do.

This method can be used for everything – from friendships to journaling, to starting running to getting healthy.

A good book on human behaviour around this is by BJ Fogg – Tiny Habits

Good luck and stay positive and DON’T give yourself a hard time if you miss it or don’t do your new goal – just get back on the horse as they say!!  Have a look at my other posts on how stress affects us and our bodies or on setting goals.

Still not sure which fitness class is for you?

Are you a woman who has pelvic girdle pain? Do you have pelvic floor issues? Have you had a C-section, episiotomy or tears? Do you have a Diastasis Recti or weak deep abdominals? Are you peri – menopausal? Do you want to get fit in a safe environment? I can help, get in touch to find out more.


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